Despite the fact that the 2010 Census form is the shortest in recent history, some anti-government activists are refusing to answer any question besides the number of people in their household.
What information are they trying to keep private?
Anything that evokes a little bit of mystery, and rekindles that old spark between us and the Census Bureau
How often on-again, off-again boyfriend was shacking up
That they can’t remember new offspring’s name
How many times they ordered some Time-Life item off television only to claim it never arrived, demand a new set, and then return that one for a full refund
That they are Osama bin Laden
That they prefer to sleep in a Vaseline-lined thermal pouch
Whether they rent or own their heavily armed secessionist compound
Their DNA sequence, which, according to multiple credible websites, the Census collects from saliva on the return-envelope adhesive and then adds to a secret government database
