Grandmother Hopes Leaving 600 Pounds Of Old Newspapers To Grandson Doesn’t Make His Cousins Jealous

DORMONT, PA—Emphasizing that she loved each of her seven grandchildren equally, local grandmother Esther Horn was reportedly hoping Tuesday the 600 pounds of old newspapers she was leaving to her grandson wouldn’t make his cousins jealous. “I don’t want it to seem like I’m playing favorites here, but I already promised Connor all my Post-Gazettes,” said Horn, who had begun labeling the dozens of stacks of yellowing periodicals with the 23-year-old’s name so he would know which piles of things were his when the time came. “I know he’s had his eye on them ever since he pointed and asked, ‘Why are those there?’ I’m just crossing my fingers the rest of them will be able to handle this like adults. No one will leave empty-handed. There are still plenty of Woman’s World magazines to go around. And of course, everyone will get one of the boxes of rinsed-out tuna cans sitting in my attic.” At press time, Horn was devastated a feud had already erupted after catching her oldest granddaughter trying to sneak a stack of the old newspapers out of the house.