,

Gavin Newsom Slammed For Eating At The French Laundry When Atelier Crenn Clearly Superior Take On Contemporary Cuisine

SACRAMENTO, CA—Following reports that he patronized the three-Michelin-star restaurant with a group of at least a dozen people, Gov. Gavin Newsom of California was widely criticized Thursday for eating at The French Laundry when Atelier Crenn offers a clearly superior take on contemporary cuisine. “It’s absolutely unthinkable that the governor would attend a gathering at an establishment that peaked 15 years ago when he and top lobbyists could have dined at Chef Dominique Crenn’s strikingly inventive restaurant instead,” said Bay Area resident Ian Samuels, blasting Newsom for how out of touch he appeared to be with the modern gastronomic landscape. “How can we trust this man to lead us when his taste in restaurants is so pedestrian? It’s upsetting to see him violate the fine-dining standards being scrupulously followed by millions of Californians—and for a completely prosaic and uninspired interpretation of Nova Scotia lobster galette, no less.” At press time, Newsom had issued a scathing review of The French Laundry in response to criticism.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper