Firefighter Disarmed Of Hose Grabs Squirt Gun From Ankle Holster

COOS BAY, OR—Stumbling backward as he lost his main weapon, then reaching for his pant leg, a firefighter disarmed of his hose grabbed a squirt gun from his ankle holster to continue battling the flames around him, sources confirmed Friday. “You thought you had me!” the quick-thinking firefighter was heard to yell as he rolled away from the five-alarm blaze that rapidly moved between him and his hose, placing it just out of his reach. He then reportedly grabbed a second water pistol wedged in a shoulder holster and began shooting both weapons at the fire. “You’re going down, you son of a bitch! I’m going to put you the fuck out!” Sources later reported seeing the firefighter on the third floor of a burning building, where he threw down his spent squirt guns and slowly circled the flames holding an icicle, ready for close combat.