Federal League Once Again Snubbed By MLB All-Star Game

CINCINNATI—Saying that the annual event feels incomplete without them, baseball fans across the nation expressed their outrage Tuesday after the Federal League was once again snubbed by the MLB All-Star Game. “To be perfectly frank, it is indefensible that another All-Star Game is going to take place without a single player from the Federal League,” said ESPN baseball analyst Tim Kurkjian, adding that the eight talent-laden FL teams will go unrepresented during the festivities for the 86th consecutive time, with even the defending champion Chicago Whales being egregiously overlooked. “Doc Addington is batting .339 for the [Newark] Peppers, while Brixton Murphy and his 68 RBIs have single-handedly kept the Brooklyn Tip-Tops in playoff contention, and baseball lovers deserve to see them face the best arms in the Majors. Of course, after pitching 190 strikeouts underhand during the first half of the season, Dutch Cooper has also earned himself a moment on the big stage.” Kurkjian further highlighted the illegitimacy of the All-Star selection process by noting that the game will inexplicably include a player from the Philadelphia Phillies.