Far-Right Republican Wondering What He Has To Do To Get Media To Stop Calling Him Moderate

WASHINGTON—Wondering if anyone had even looked at his voting record, Rep. David Hoffman (R-NC), a far-right member of Congress, reportedly wondered Tuesday what he had to do to get the media to stop calling him a moderate. “No matter how much hateful and extremist rhetoric I use, the media refuses to stop calling me a centrist Republican,” said Hoffman, adding that even liberal pundits referred to him as a “rare voice of reason” within the GOP despite his votes to strip healthcare from millions, inhumanely detain migrants at the border, and impose harsh sentences for minorities who commit nonviolent crimes. “I’ve worked in my district to curb voting access among Black residents. I’ve claimed the 2020 presidential election was stolen, ignoring the fact that I won reelection on the same ballot. I honestly don’t know what else I can do. I mean, do they want me to choke an immigrant to death with my bare hands? I will.” At press time, the media had described Hoffman as a consensus builder after he introduced a bill to execute any woman who receives an abortion.