Fantasy Football League Ruined By Guy Who Won’t Update Roster Weeks After Wife’s Death

RAHWAY, NJ—Voicing frustrations about the competitive balance being thrown off, several players in a local fantasy football league told reporters Thursday their season was being ruined by a guy who wouldn’t update his roster weeks after his wife’s death. “It’s just so annoying—here you are trying to win the league and outsmart your competitors, and Chris [Beckley] hasn’t made a single change to his roster since his wife passed in week two,” said leaguemate Nat Ritter, noting that Beckley, whose wife died Sept. 14 in a car crash, had not only failed to use his top waiver claim, but had also kept a starting lineup that included three players who were injured and out for the season. “I can understand not setting your lineup the day after your wife kicks it, since they can lock the lineups in early, but at this point it’s having a huge effect on our league. It’s not fair that I had to play him in week one and lose, and then my leaguemates get to coast to easy wins just because this asshole is apparently too busy grieving. He has good players just sitting on the bench, too, and if he’s not going to play them, he should release them to the free agent pool so us teams on the bottom can have a better chance. He’s being so selfish.” At press time, leaguemate Aaron Winchell was repeatedly texting Beckley to stop fucking crying and respond to his trade offer.