Yes, even if you’re white, this list applies to you. Here are extremely illegal things you actually do every day.
Software Piracy
Humiliating piracy laws in the United States require that you pay for Microsoft Word like a total chump.
Take The Lord’s Name In Vain
God’s law is still law, and should you besmirch name of The Almighty, thou shalt be banished to Hell to burn in eternity.
Planting Evidence On Suspects
Guess you’re going to have to beat a confession out of this one.
Calling Elderly Women Claiming To Be Their Grandson Caught In A Mexican Prison
Frankly, it takes too much time to explain how to wire money into a Western Union account anyways.
Betting On Hog Races
We’re sorry, ’Pa. Really, we thought Luella was gonna win for sure!
Murdering Roommate In An Argument
It’s just one of those things, isn’t it? So common as to be unnoticeable? Who even cares, right? Right?
Taking Pictures Of The Earth
All parts of Earth are subject to copyright by The Planet Earth LLC and should never be photographed without permission.
Eating Trademarked Foods Without Paying Royalties
Many people don’t realize they actually owe McDonald’s 5.7% per ounce every time they eat a Big Mac.
Sniping Pedestrians From Your Rooftop
Unfortunately, the top of your apartment building is not the altitude equivalent of international waters.
Serving As Pilot-In-Command Of An MU-2B Series Airplane In A Flight Into Known Or Forecast Icing Conditions Without Icing Awareness Training
No excuses on this one.
War With The Sinaloa Cartel
It’s technically a legal no-no, but that doesn’t stop everyday Americans from dispatching paramilitary units to topple the drug cartel formerly run by the infamous “El Chapo.”
Letting Your Dog Drive
Until he has passed the written portion of his permit exam, Ginger The Bernedoodle cannot legally log his practice hours.
Practicing Magic Without A License
The punishment in Alabama for even just a basic card trick is a hefty $20,000 fine and 10 years in prison.
Texting While Driving In The Indianapolis 500
Not only is this illegal, but it’s probably the reason you keep finishing last.
Posting A Bootleg Video Of
Yeah, every one of us had our phase where we snuck a camcorder into Broadway hits and secretly recorded. But the fact that you’re uploading a new performance every week could draw a lot of heat.
Taking $2 Million In Cash From The Scene Of A Drug Deal Gone Bad In The Desert
Oh, don’t you worry. El Jefe will get you for this soon enough.
Being Poor
While a lot of places look the other way, places that matter, like cities, often enforce myriad laws to make living below the poverty line a crime.
Orchestrating A Multibillion Dollar Embezzlement Scheme
Only if you get caught, though.
