Every Team, Fan Base, Front Office Panicking

With the regular season either finally underway or almost over, the playoffs beginning, and preparations for the draft about to wrap up, every individual associated with a professional North American sports team in any way entered a deep state of panic this week. “We really have to shore up our defense and get more physical or we are just going to be meat to every other team in our division,” star Chicago Bulls guard Derrick Rose, longtime Green Bay Packers fan Brian Walters, and embattled Toronto Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke said Friday. “Right now, the [team] [is] just on the brink of disaster.” Meanwhile, every head coach in sports was given an unsolicited vote of confidence by team ownership, a declaration traditionally seen by the sports media as a bad sign.