ESPN Praised For Gutsy Performance In Promoting Dolphins-Steelers Matchup

BRISTOL, CT—The advertising, promotions, and publicity departments of cable sports network ESPN are being lauded for refusing to simply give up on attempting to promote the upcoming lackluster Miami-Pittsburgh Monday night matchup, instead turning in what some are calling a “championship-game level of hype.” “Our business is all about blowing things out of proportion, but rarely do we see a game as one-sided as this given this kind of dedication,” said Advertising Age columnist Alan Quensbury. “Talk about turd-polishing… I’m in awe. My mind says it’ll be hard for Steeler fans to stay awake through the blowout, but the ESPN people have made me believe it’ll be one for the ages.” ESPN promotions personnel have responded to the praise by saying they were  “just doing their jobs” and that they will issue a full statement of thanks after “Monday night’s classic clash of tradition-rich AFC powerhouses.”