Errant Keystroke Produces Character Never Before Seen By Human Eyes

SAN MATEO, CA—Following an accidental keystroke combination Monday, local woman Kate Garret’s computer displayed a strange, never-before-seen typographical character that experts have since confirmed does not belong to the written language of any human culture, past or present. “I was holding down the Alt button and brushed something up near the Tab or Tilde key, and then this weird thing just popped up out of nowhere,” said Garret, who described the symbol as looking something like a combination of Arabic script, a mathematical sign, and the letter “F.” “I tried over and over again to replicate the keystrokes, but the character never reappeared. I immediately copied and pasted it into a separate document and hit save, worried no one would ever believe me otherwise.” Archaeologists brought in to study the unusual marking said that while its bears no resemblance to the iconography of any known civilization anywhere on earth, it is, in all likelihood, “probably just another goddamn fertility symbol.”