Elon Musk Criticized For Firing So Many Employees Rather Than Spending Decades Grinding Them Down

SAN FRANCISCO—Drawing widespread condemnation for failing to abide by industry standard practices, Twitter CEO Elon Musk courted criticism Monday for firing thousands of employees at once rather than spending decades grinding them down into unrecognizable husks of their former selves. “It’s absolutely appalling that Elon would lay off the majority of his workforce in one go when he could have chosen to erode their self-worth with years of humiliation and unhinged business decisions” said tech CEO Tyler Novack, who joined thousands in the sector in objecting to Musk’s choice to terminate most of Twitter’s workers on the spot and thereby give up the opportunity to exploit them during their most productive years, gradually breaking their spirits with insults and fear tactics and eventually tossing aside their drained bodies years from now like so much garbage. “Don’t get me wrong: I get the temptation to subject your workers to insane mind games that leave them feeling like their livelihood could be wiped out by the whims of a megalomaniac. But you want to draw that out for years—that’s what’s so delicious about it. That’s what gets you hard. That’s what makes you feel like a god. The way Elon’s conducting himself is such a clear sign that he doesn’t know how to run a business.” At press time, dozens of traditional business CEOs were reportedly lining up interviews with fired Twitter employees to show Musk how it was done.