Effective Billboard Has Driver Suddenly Craving Visit To The Hospital

INDIANAPOLIS—Praising both its attention-grabbing imagery and its tantalizing bullet point list of available services, local woman Cynthia Sutton told reporters Wednesday that an effective billboard along I-70 had her suddenly craving a visit to the hospital. “Ooh, I wasn’t even thinking about diagnostic imaging services, but I sure could go for a CT scan or an MRI right about now,” said Sutton, who remarked that just seeing the billboard’s photos of a small child holding a flower and a doctor in scrubs had really given her a hankering for an IV drip or even an overnight stay in an intensive care unit. “I don’t know how they do it, but ever since I saw ‘Where First Class Care Always Comes First,’ it’s been all I can think about. If there’s a long wait to get a bed, hopefully they’ll let me have a seat in the ER and I can just get a prescription to go.” At press time, Sutton had reportedly missed the exit but was pretty sure there would be another hospital she could stop at further down the expressway.