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Ebola Drugs Show 90% Survival Rate

In a positive development for future and current outbreaks, experimental trials found that individuals have a 90% survival rate when treated with a new set of antibody-based Ebola treatments called REGN-EB3 and mAb114, which will now be deployed to all outbreak patients in the Democratic Republic of Congo. What do you think?

Millicent Howell • Organ Wholesaler

“I’ve been saying that there’s never been a better time to contract Ebola.”

Millicent Howell • Organ Wholesaler

Yusuf Frey • Adoxologist

“It’s too dangerous to give people an experimental treatment without a viable profit model in place first.”

Yusuf Frey • Adoxologist

Greg Swift • Warning Designer

“Let me guess: you can’t drink while you’re on it. No thanks.”

Greg Swift • Warning Designer




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper