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East Coast Braces For Blizzard

Thousands of flights have been canceled and several government agencies have shuttered in anticipation of a massive snowstorm making its way to the East Coast, a blizzard that could affect as many as 75 million people in a dozen states. What do you think?

Tony Gascoyne • Noise Meterman

“Typical East Coast media bias. It snowed here in Columbus last night, but I didn’t see any news trucks.”

Tony Gascoyne • Noise Meterman

Darryl Jeffers • Mustache Barber

“How could the promise of eating beefaroni by candlelight worry anyone?”

Darryl Jeffers • Mustache Barber

Monica Penderton • Nun Biographer

“Great. The first time in my life a journalist wants to interview me, and it’s to talk about the fucking weather.”

Monica Penderton • Nun Biographer




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper