With college right around the corner for millions of incoming freshmen, students across the country are shopping for sheets, towels, shower sandals, decorations, and other essential items to prepare for college life and make their dorm rooms feel like home. Here is a list of dorm room supplies every student should have:
A dozen 20-pound bags of dorm food
Mini-fridge for storing mildew
A convincing backstory
Large Homer Simpson beer mug full of dusty pennies
Backup fork in case main fork is dirty or lost
Fatally low alcohol tolerance
Frying pan to bang on wall in order to discreetly cover up sounds of masturbation
Life-size cardboard cutout of parents
Hot plate to establish rebel status, dominance over RA
Poster of Bob Marley watching A Clockwork Orange with Audrey Hepburn
A startup internet company you can sell for billions
Bunch of things your mom will insist are essential that will spend the next four years unopened in a storage container
Misplaced optimism
