Wesley:
Guess it was too much to expect that you would adopt all three brothers, the cats who’d spent their whole lives together and lived for each other, rather than just walk away with two and leave Wesley behind.
Lucy:
This adorable 3-year-old Labrador would have been happy just to sit by your chair and keep you company. In fact, she imagined doing that day in and day out for the rest of her life as soon as you walked by the shelter, but you had to have your perfect, purebred dachshund, didn’t you?
Huck:
He probably thought you were gonna be his new owner because you actually did adopt him—for about two weeks. He’s not sure why feeding him and letting him outside a few times every day was such a huge task for you, but he totally understands if dog ownership doesn’t fit into your lifestyle right now.
Tyler:
He knows exactly how awful he is, so the fact that he got his hopes up said a lot. This disgusting mass of hair and stink is a menace and the world would be better off without him, so, honestly, you dodged a bullet here.
Angel:
“I’ll name you Angel. That way you’ll find yours,” said the shelter volunteer, kissing the quiet stray on the nose before writing her new name in sharpie on the tag clipped to her cage. Unfortunately for Angel, you walked right into the room and yelled, “Like the movie!” while pointing at a cat named Rambo.
Hogan:
The guy at the adoption agency smuggled him all the way from Turkey and then gave you a good price and explained how you wouldn’t even have to go through all the trouble of getting an exotic pet license, but you completely chickened out since you were afraid of getting caught by the cops.
Milly:
This sweet little calico kitten was positive you’d be the one to adopt her because she was the only kitten at the cat room that day. Instead, you got all sanctimonious about how older cats don’t get a fair shake and you wanted to do something for them. She’s still there to this day. You broke her heart, you goddamn monster.
