Disney Opens 200-Acre Sadomasochism Theme Park After Purchasing Rights To Hellraiser Franchise

ORLANDO—Six years after acquiring the rights to the 1987 horror classic, Disney Parks, Experiences and Products formally opened its new World Of Agony Monday, a 200-acre sadomasochistic theme park based on the Hellraiser franchise. “As soon as guests crawl through the main entrance, they’ll be transported to a searing nether realm where skinless demons roam free and the boundary between pain and pleasure is all but erased,” said company president George Kalogridis, noting that visitors would be inundated with sounds and visuals designed to short-circuit their senses and make them feel as though at any moment a Cenobite could jump through a wall and flay them alive. “Without giving too much away, I’ll say there’s a 10-story plunge into a pit of real lava, a nipple-clipped adventure through an alternate dimension, and a food court serving a wide range of inedible toxic treats. And be sure to stick around, because every day at 5 p.m., there will be a chain-bound parade of mutant sex fiends down Maim Street U.S.A.” Kalogridis added that park pass—which also includes access to Epcot and the Magic Kingdom—was $79.99 but could also be paid for in blood.