The secretary for Disney’s head of corporate communications was arrested for attempting to sell business secrets—including a rumored sale of ABC—for the purposes of insider trading.
Here are some of the other secrets she was trying to sell:
Babies born in Disneyland stay in Disneyland
Pixar movies are now self-aware and have been animating themselves since Ratatouille
The Lion King on Broadway will be two-for-one in the spring of 2012!!!
Disney employs hundreds of thousands of undocumented enchanted broom workers
Recent market research shows awareness of Chip ‘n’ Dale highest among meth users
Tips for landing even the most elusive character autographs
Company covered up 1955 fairy-dust explosion that killed nine chemical imagineers
Location of Main Street, USA’s secret glory hole
