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Diet Soda Linked To Stroke, Dementia Risks

Drinking diet soda has recently been shown to increase risk of both stroke and dementia, perhaps due to artificial sweetening agents blocking blood vessels. What do you think?

Chuck Dooley • Whiskey Barreler

“How many calories does having a stroke burn?”

Chuck Dooley • Whiskey Barreler

Parker Samson • Biscuit Slicer

“I can certainly see how the sensory overload from processing that crisp, refreshing flavor can take its toll on the brain.”

Parker Samson • Biscuit Slicer

Joe Dina • Retired Profiteer

“So what? I don’t drink it to make my mind look good.”

Joe Dina • Retired Profiteer




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper