The question of whether life was intelligently designed or evolved over billions of years has been a major point of contention since Darwin’s On The Origin Of Species was first published in the mid-19th century. Here are the strongest arguments from each side of this ongoing and heated debate:
CREATIONISM
Evolutionary theory rests on precepts set out by old, obsolete book written over a hundred years ago
Scientifically corroborated by numerous peer-reviewed Facebook posts
Banana flawlessly designed for use as fake phone
Bible verses about molecular mutation and generational metamorphosis in allele frequencies clearly allegorical
Nine electoral votes in Alabama
Results of natural selection experiments have only been reproduced a few thousand times in a laboratory
Archaeopteryx way too awesome to have evolved into shitty birds of today
Far easier to understand than evolution
EVOLUTION
Personal feud with God
Saw frog evolve from pollywog
Distinct morphological similarities between ancient Neanderthal and Trent
Nice to think we actually distantly related to family dog
Want to see how much more upright next figure in evolutionary chart will be standing
That one Star Trek: Voyager episode where helmsman Tom Paris goes through rapid evolution
Dazzling oratorical genius of Clarence Darrow
Universe was created out of nothing billions of years ago, which you’ll just have to trust us on
