Coworkers Nationwide Embrace Tearfully After Painful 3-Day Separation

WASHINGTON—With tears of relief streaming down their faces, coworkers around the nation wrapped one another in jubilant embraces Tuesday to celebrate the blessed end of their Labor Day weekend separation, sources confirmed. “I missed you so much! Thank God we’re back together again!” employees across the United States reportedly said to one another between whoops of joy, all while lifting each other up in emotional bear hugs. “Worst three days of my life! It felt like months. The only thing I thought about the whole time—while I was sleeping in and having backyard cookouts—was your faces and how much I missed them. You guys are the best! I love you so much.” At press time, American colleagues were hanging on each other’s words as they recounted their weekend activities.