Coworker Not Nearly As Fun Drunk As Originally Suspected

WOBURN, MA—Accustomed to his fun, easygoing personality and solid status as the office cutup, Nick Bianchi’s coworkers at Pierce Communications said they were shocked. Friday when the 32-year-old sales associate dispelled assumptions that he would be a “riot” when intoxicated. “Nick probably had about five shots during the first half hour we were at Leary’s [Tavern], and then he started muttering under his breath,” said tech support specialist Michael Derrone, who may have been told to “go fuck” something by Bianchi, though Derrone was uncertain. “He just sat there and  glared at us while we played darts. Apparently, he really hates all of us.” Bianchi is also suspected of keying project manager Kyle Doolan’s car after leaving the bar.