Correct Theory Discarded In Favor Of More Exciting Theory

GRETNA, NE— The correct theory regarding the closing of Marvin’s Diner was discarded Monday in favor of a far more exciting theory. “I bet the Omaha mafia muscled them out,” said Gretna resident Lucinda Dunfee, pondering the fate of Marvin’s Diner, which was shut down due to health-code violations. “They were taking business away from Steak Barrel, and those guys don’t care who they get mixed up with.” Dunfee noted that the restaurant’s trash cans were often overturned during the night, which was likely an act of intimidation on the part of the Omaha crime syndicate.