Conservationist Breaks Down Sobbing While Going Through Old Box Of Extinct Species’ Things

HUESCA, SPAIN—After he choked up at the mere sight of the plastic tub tucked away in the back of his closet, sources confirmed Friday that local wildlife conservationist Juan Morales broke down in sobs as he went through a box of things that once belonged to the extinct Pyrenean ibex. “Oh God, I still miss that species every day,” said a reportedly inconsolable Morales, sifting through the items for the first time since the Iberian wild goat variety went extinct two decades ago. “This is one of its beautiful curved horns, which could grow to more than 30 inches. And here’s—I’m sorry to turn into a blubbering mess like this—here’s a big pile of the grass it always liked to eat. I remember how much it loved those prized twigs. That over there is a femur that looks like it must have been licked clean by a predator. So many years have passed, but I can still hear the clatter of its hooves as it climbed near-vertical cliffs in the Pyrenees and made itself an easy target for the marksmen who drove it into oblivion.” Later, after wrapping himself in a Pyrenean ibex pelt recently acquired from a poacher, a wild-eyed Morales was spotted in a local park, where he was said to be grazing with enthusiasm.