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Computer Makers Die More

Death rates among people who work building computers are considerably higher than the rest of the population. What do you think?

Ken Glaser • Landscape Architect

“Great. So when the computers turn against us, there won’t be anyone alive who knows their weaknesses.”

Ken Glaser • Landscape Architect

Jessica LaGrange • Systems Analyst

“Jeez, now I feel bad about upgrading to the arsenic graphics card.”

Jessica LaGrange • Systems Analyst

Alex Beerman • Store Clerk

“Man, you can’t do anything fun anymore without getting cancer. No smoking, no working in computer factories, no handling beryllium or beryllium compounds, no nothing, man.”

Alex Beerman • Store Clerk




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper