In most U.S. states, pharmacists are legally allowed to deny healthcare to customers if it interferes with their personal or religious beliefs. Here are completely legal reasons pharmacists can give to refuse dispensing birth control.
“It’s against a religion.”
Legally, pharmacists can refuse service if they think it might violate one of the thousands of religions known to humankind.
“I’m just not feeling up for it today.”
While not enshrined into law, respecting each other’s boundaries is important.
“You’re all the way over there.”
You have to be close enough to be handed the bag. They’re not gonna throw it across the CVS.
“My religion says I can deny people basic healthcare.”
What a perfect job for them, then.
“What if you get addicted?”
It starts out with one innocent pill, but the next thing you know, you’re taking them every day to get your fix.
“I’m on lunch.”
Labor laws dictate that pharmacists have a one-hour lunch break during which they are not required to provide insatiable floozies with their slut pills.
“God.”
Legal in 43 states.
“You already had the baby.”
No amount of Plan B is going to unring that bell now.
“You might sell it to kids and say it’s ecstasy.”
Many pharmacists harbor resentment against the adult women who dashed their hopes as gullible teens looking to party on the weekend.
“You seem like more of a hand job person than a penetration person.”
Pharmacists unfortunately have every night to guesstimate your sexual taste and how likely you are to have sex to determine birth control eligibility.
“Sorry, I can’t because of HIPAA.”
Arguing with this would force you to confront the reality that you have no idea what HIPAA actually does.
“This prescription is just a picture of a baby with an X through it.”
At the very least, that needs to be signed by a doctor.
“Birth control isn’t mentioned once in the Constitution.”
Shame on you for not knowing the contents of your nation’s founding document.
“I was forced to have a baby I didn’t want, so you must suffer too.”
The right to withhold birth control out of spite is protected by law.
“I’d love to, but you are poor.”
Maybe you should have thought about your healthcare before you decided to be poor.
“I don’t want to.”
Simple, honest, and to the point.
“Sorry, pardner. This ain’t that kind of pharmacy.”
Keep on movin’. This ain’t one of those doggone liberal blue states, ya hear?
“I swallowed all the pills myself.”
Just leave and come back when they restock.
“Lady parts are icky.”
Under our current laws, pharmacists can legally refuse care if they think your biological anatomy is even the slightest bit gross.
“I get to make the final call on your healthcare.”
Hard to argue with that.
