Coleslaw Portion So Generous Man Feels Like He’s Getting Away With Robbery

SOUTH PORTLAND, ME—Stressing that there must have been some sort of mix-up in the ordering process, local man Tim McGowan told reporters Wednesday that the coleslaw portion he had received at Rose’s Diner was so generous that it felt like he was getting away with robbery. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated that they’d give out this much coleslaw, but I still have my turkey club to contend with,” said the astonished customer, expressing concern about the possibility that he might be charged extra for such a generous portion of the cabbage- and mayonnaise-based side dish. “Most places just give you a little cup of it at best. But this? I’d honestly pay a few bucks more to get a big bowl of coleslaw like this. Seriously, what’s going on? They’re going to go bankrupt if they keep this up.” At press time, sources reported the visibly concerned man had stopped a waitress attempting to give him a free refill of iced tea to get a verbal confirmation that there hadn’t some sort of a mistake.