Civilian Casualty Flattered To Have Been Mistaken For Hamas Leader

RAFAH, GAZA STRIP—Remarking that he felt honored to be considered so important and influential, Gazan civilian casualty Khalil Said Zahlan told reporters from an emergency aid station Monday that he was incredibly flattered to have been mistaken for a Hamas militant leader by an Israeli airstrike. “I’m just a regular shop owner here in Gaza, so I can’t imagine what would lead them to think I had the capability to command an armed insurgent movement, but I’m not one to turn down a compliment,” said a bandaged Zahlan, who added that being held in high enough regard to be targeted and violently forced from his home by a round of bombing this morning was far from faint praise. “I have no connection to Hamas at all, but to receive that kind of attention from Israel’s top military officials is really something. This is an honor I won’t forget.” Zahlan added that he was deeply touched that the Israel Defense Forces also mistook his two young daughters and late wife for Hamas leaders as well.