Onion Public Radio, Podcasts China Recalls Everything Published: December 16, 2008 Print Is Back. Get The Paper. Become A Member. Advertising Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff: 'Everyone Was Close To Dying Only 7 Times This Year' Continued on next page Explore Tags Vol 44: Issue 52 Related Coverage The Final Episode Of The Topical Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird