CEO Unveils Bold New Plan To Undo Damage From Last Year’s Bold New Plan

NEW YORK—Saying it would mark a significant change in the company’s direction, Paradigm Marketing CEO Paul Dannon announced Monday a bold new plan that was evidently intended to undo the havoc caused by last year’s bold new plan. “It’s time to make some major shifts in how we do things [in reaction to the disastrous major shifts I implemented last year],” said Dannon of the sweeping new initiative that amounted to a point-by-point retraction of his sweeping initiative from almost exactly one year ago. “We’re all going to have to accept some changes [to salvage the resources wasted due to my last disastrous strategic move], but I’m confident this is going to be an important step [backward] for the company. And, who knows, maybe we’ll even have [no] fun [whatsoever] in the process.” At press time, Dannon was laying off several employees whose salaries amounted to the bonus he had received last year.