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Catholic Church Now Opposes Death Penalty In All Cases

The Catholic Church now formally considers the death penalty “inadmissible” as an attack on the inviolability and dignity of the person and is pledging to work for its abolition worldwide, a shift from its previous position that it could be a force to protect the common good. What do you think?

Ryan Dempsey • Footlight Arranger

“Well, I’m glad we got that sorted o

Ryan Dempsey • Footlight Arranger

Sharon Kelvin • Dragees Enthusiast

“I was afraid something like this would happen if they ever got to the ‘thou shall not kill’ part.”

Sharon Kelvin • Dragees Enthusiast

Perry White • Pretzel Filler

“Is there no low this new Pope won’t stoop to in order to impress God?”

Perry White • Pretzel Filler




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper