Catcaller Not Sure What The Big Deal Is Since He’d Love For A Woman To Call Him A Fat, Stuck-Up Bitch

CHICAGO—Urging everyone to lighten up and “save the pearl-clutching” for real problems, local catcaller Will Snyder confirmed Friday that he was not sure what the big deal was because he’d love it if a woman referred to him as a fat, stuck-up bitch. “No one ever calls me a dumb filthy whore when I’m headed home after a long day of work, but you know what, it sure would be a nice thing to hear every now and then,” said Snyder, 27, adding that it would be a tragedy if the political correctness of the #MeToo era had reached a point where it might prevent a woman from walking close behind him for several blocks and then telling him he was an ugly, uptight cunt who needed to be fucked hard. “Honestly, what’s the problem? I’d be flattered if some girl blocked my path on the sidewalk, grabbed her crotch, and told me my big slutty lips would look great on her pussy. That’s a compliment in my book, so don’t act all offended when you hear that kind of thing from me.” The catcaller then reportedly sighed and reiterated his long-held position that there wasn’t much he could do about it, because they were “all a bunch of frigid dykes.”