Cashier Learning Valuable But Illegal Job Skills

BUTTE, MT—Three weeks into his first job, part-time Big Sky Foods cashier Vance Freeman is picking up invaluable but criminal workplace skills, the 16-year-old reported Monday. “This is just a minimum-wage job, but by taking the initiative to skim the till, I’m preparing for my future,” Freeman said, as he surreptitiously slipped three quarters into his pocket. “Someday, I’ll be able to apply my knowledge to a lucrative career in white-collar crimes like embezzlement, insider trading, maybe even fraud.” Freeman said he’s looking forward to his break, when Greg the produce guy will show him how to prop open the service entrance so he can sneak food out to his car.