Breaking: Waiter Picking Up Napkin With Bare Hand

SAN ANTONIO—Watching in horror as he directly handles the dirty, crumpled piece of paper without the aid of a glove or any other sanitary barrier, Sunset Grove Cafe patron Samantha Barnes is at this moment panicking upon noticing that her waiter has picked up her used napkin with his bare hand. “Jesus, he didn’t even hesitate,” said Barnes, who is in utter shock at the nonchalance the waiter demonstrated in grabbing the napkin that she had only moments ago used to wipe honey mustard off her mouth. “He just went for it even though he must have seen that it was covered in sauce. He could have just scraped it onto a plate with one of the utensils, but now it’s right there touching his skin, contaminating him. God, I feel so ashamed.” At press time, Barnes had resolved to leave her used napkins on the center of her plate from now on so the waiter would never have to touch it, and it would be some dishwasher’s problem.