More and more Americans are pumping iron.
Here are some tips to get your bodybuilding program on track:
It’s important to keep your lifting routine varied. If you’ve been saying “Ooooooof” every time you lift, try switching to “Ungggggh.”
To gain respect in the gym, bludgeon with a dumbbell the first guy who offers to trade sets with you.
Weightlifting is not just a sport for men. It is also enjoyed by many lesbos.
A good rule of thumb for bodybuilding: If no sleeved garment fits you, you can stop.
Doctors warn of the dangers of steroid abuse, so be a pussy and let some pussy doctor tell you what to do, pussy.
It’s true: Bodybuilding is a great way to meet, terrify, and repulse the opposite sex.
Power up with a good meal of infants before doing any substantial lifting.
Keep in mind that weightlifting is a physical activity. Carrying heavy emotional baggage or any other metaphorical burden will not actually improve strength.
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Remember: Flexibility is of no importance to a bodybuilder. Why turn your head when you can rotate your entire torso to achieve the same effect?
Supplement your diet with vitamin B-12, magnesium, glutamine, amino acids, horse steroids, and zinc.
If you are a female bodybuilder, concentrate on transforming your breasts into leathery slabs of rock-hard muscle. Guys love that.
