Black Man In Support Of Confederate Flag Triples His Media Appearance Rates

COLUMBIA, SC—Saying that his services had never been more in demand, Andrew Lewis, a local black man who supports flying the Confederate flag, announced plans Monday to triple his media appearance rates. “My phone’s been ringing off the hook the past few days, so I decided I’m not doing a spot for anything less than $1,500,” said Lewis, citing the numerous requests from news outlets for an African American who is willing to appear on television for three to five minutes and articulate why displaying the Confederate flag is an important symbol of states’ rights and standing up to the federal government. “I’m booked solid through Wednesday for one-on-ones and roundtable panels where I describe the flag as an important part of my state’s rich heritage, but I’d find a way to squeeze in a few more if the price was right. I’m just trying to make the most of this while I’m still hot.” Lewis added that when the latest controversy subsides, he would always have steady work appearing on political pundit shows to condemn affirmative action and argue for tighter voter ID laws.