Biden Nominates Popular Twitter Account @PossumEveryHour For OMB After Discovering Bipartisan Support Of Tweets

WASHINGTON—President Joe Biden reportedly nominated popular Twitter account @PossumEveryHour Wednesday for United States Office of Management and Budget Director after discovering bipartisan support of the account’s tweets. “Today, I am thrilled to endorse PossumEveryHour for OMB director, as I believe it’s beloved, marsupial-based brand of content is impossible for both Democrats and Republicans to resist,” said Biden, adding that the account—which consistently posts photos of possums hissing, rummaging through garbage cans, and dressed in adorable sweaters to its 311K followers—would make a perfect addition to the cabinet under any presidential administration. “Since the day I took office, I pledged to end acrimonious politics, and I believe that this novelty feed of creepy yet still-lovable creatures will make both sides proud. I have followed PossumEveryHour since it posted its first photo in July of 2018, and I can’t wait to see what it can do for OMB and America next.” At press time, Biden had withdrawn his nomination after Republicans accused the account of displaying partisan support towards nocturnal species, and Democrats took issue with the animal’s troubling history of being a carrier for rabies and tuberculosis.