Biden Calls Dibs On Qaddafi's Clothes

WASHINGTON—Interrupting a meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Tuesday, Vice President Joe Biden called dibs on the clothes of Muammar Qaddafi, saying he wanted first pick of the Libyan dictator’s wardrobe as soon as he was deposed. “I’ve had my eye on those threads for years,” said Biden, promising the assembled military officers they could have Qaddafi’s print shirts or any assorted hats and sunglasses that Biden didn’t want. “I need a couple of his traditional nomad outfits for this sheikh-themed party I’m throwing. And those uniforms with all the medals are pretty sweet.” According to sources, Biden was unable to lay claim to Qaddafi’s Bedouin tents because Energy Secretary Steven Chu had called them minutes earlier.