In the suburban environment, tensions can build over something as simple as an unraked lawn. Here are some ways you can keep the peace with your neighbors:
If you’re a smoker, make an effort to throw the butts into a single, easy-to-clean pile over the fence.
Kill chickens only as necessary and never in the front yard.
If there aren’t many homeless people in your neighborhood, take some time to sort out the recycling yourself.
When rocking out on weekends, stick to professionally vetted greatest hits collections.
If a neighbor asks to borrow some sugar, absolutely refuse. His health should be your No. 1 concern.
Whenever enjoying your back or front yard, be sure to do so in some nice, tasteful pleated slacks.
Are you fucking kidding me with three dogs? What is this, West Virginia? You’ll have to euthanize one.
