The big three American automobile manufacturers spent much of last week lobbying Congress for a portion of the economic bailout, lest they go under. How did they get to this point?
1970: United Auto Workers fights for and wins 12 paid hangover days a year for its members
1977: Inspired by the hit motion picture The Spy Who Loved Me, Chrysler wastes four years trying to manufacture a car that turns into a submarine
1985: Ford spends the majority of its R & D budget designing sweet new “Chevy Sucks” decals
1991: Sales of the Pontiac Trans Am plunge after the car officially loses its pussy magnet designation
1997: Having meticulously crafted the 1998 Dodge Dakota to boast best-in-class payload and towing capacity, Chrysler decides to rest on its laurels for the next decade
1999: Chevrolet is sued for millions after it is discovered there is already a song named “Like a Rock” with the exact same lyrics and melody
2000: GM unveils the Buick Carbon, America’s first mass-produced gas-coal hybrid vehicle
2001: At the Los Angeles Auto Show, GM introduces the Pontiac Aztek to raucous laughter, then stunned silence, then blood curdling screams of horror
2006: Oprah says her new favorite thing is non-American cars
