Astronomers Admit They Made Neptune Up

LONDON–An elaborate, 155-year-old hoax was revealed Monday, when the Royal Astronomical Society confessed that the planet Neptune does not exist. “It appears to have begun in 1846, when Johann Galle needed a big discovery to give his career a jump-start, so he fabricated this new planet,” said Royal Astronomical Society president N.O. Weiss. “Ever since, every astronomer who’s wanted some attention has come up with some new report on ’Neptune’ and made up some rubbish to support it. I swear, we meant to come clean eventually, but the whole thing just kind of snowballed.”