Aspiring Actor Dreams Of One Day Publicly Voicing Regret For Working With Woody Allen

LOS ANGELES—Explaining that it would be a landmark moment in her career, local aspiring actor Janine Caballero told reporters Thursday that she dreams of one day publicly voicing regret for working with Woody Allen. “Ever since I started acting, my wish has always been to land a role in a film directed by Woody Allen and then some months later release a statement expressing my remorse for taking the job and offering an apology to any women I may have inadvertently hurt,” said Caballero, adding that she has always fantasized about promising to never work with him again and then donating the salary she earned from starring in one of his trademark romantic comedies to a nonprofit combating sexual abuse. “From a professional standpoint, there’s nothing I want more than to go on 60 Minutes or a late-night talk show and explain how I never would have worked with Allen if I had the information I have now. Recounting how I took the role when I was younger and not secure enough in my career to speak up would really put me in the rare company of some actors I admire tremendously.” Caballero went on to say, however, that she wasn’t above deeply regretting appearing in a high-budget blockbuster directed by someone like Brett Ratner.