Area Man Tries To Throw Split-Fingered Fastball, Breaks Arm In 9 Places

COLUMBUS, OH—Local resident Thomas Pickford, 43, suffered breaks in his right pisiform, scaphoid, and lunate carpals; two separate fractures of the coronoid process; and four radial breaks, including one spiral fracture, as he attempted to demonstrate to his son how to throw a split-fingered fastball in their backyard on Thursday. “So you just jam the ball in between your second and third fingers here real tight, don’t forget to spin your arm as fast as it’ll go, and then you rear back and— No. Oh, God,” Pickford said, before grabbing his arm and collapsing to the ground. “Get your mom, get your mom, get your mom.” Late next year, Pickford will dislocate both of his knees while trying to show his youngest daughter how to take a jump shot.