Area Man Relieved Friend's Short Story Sucks

BOSTON—After reading the final draft Saturday morning, local man Chris Peters, 27, was relieved to discover the short story written by his friend Mark Carter, 26, was absolutely terrible. “When Mark first mentioned he’d written a short story, I was terrified that maybe he had some sort of creative side I’d never seen before, so it was comforting to see that it really, really sucked,” said Peters, explaining he took solace in the fact that Carter’s poorly crafted story reflected no sign of blossoming talent. “Now I can totally support Mark without worrying about him actually being good at this, or standing out in any way that would make him seem more significant than myself. What a load off.” As of press time, Peters was urging Carter to turn his short story into a feature-length screenplay.