Area Man Determined To Make The Best Of Situation Comedy

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’ll “just have to put [his] head down and get through this thing,” area man Martin Mull, 70, told reporters Thursday that he’s made up his mind to make the best of the situation comedy he’s in. “Obviously no one wants to find themselves in a situation comedy like this, but that’s just how life is sometimes, so I might as well soldier on,” Mull said, adding that his predicament was simply “one of those unavoidable situation comedies that crop up from time to time.” “You don’t plan these things. You hope they don’t happen. But when you find yourself in a situation comedy like the one I’m up against, you just have to put it in perspective and focus on the finish line.” Mull said he was confident he would be able to find the silver living in his unfortunate circumstances, adding that “After all, it’s not like I haven’t been in shittier situation comedies than this.”




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper