Architect Has Amazing Idea For Replacing Freedom Tower If Worst Were To Happen Again

NEW YORK—Confident that given the chance he would absolutely blow the memorial committee away with his design, architect Shaun Linger told reporters Wednesday that he has an amazing idea for replacing New York’s Freedom Tower if the worst were to happen again. “I don’t want it to happen, but if tragedy were to strike, I have this beautiful, spiraling skyscraper design that would make people forget the Freedom Tower ever existed,” said Linger, who revealed that, although it would clearly be a disaster, he already has blueprints drawn up that make much better use of the lower Manhattan space and contain sly nods that honor New York’s architectural history. “Whether it’s a plane or a bomb—God forbid, obviously—I’m primed and ready to go for this. It’s just such a great location and the Freedom Tower is kind of blah, you know? But my design is elegant, tasteful, original, and it even contains a really touching tribute that uses a part of the original structure as a memorial. This kind of genius would be wasted on some random lot in Atlanta.” At press time, Linger had reached out about the possibility of collaborating with a local cell from the Haqqani network.