,

A Timeline Of Construction On The White House

George Washington laid the cornerstone of the White House 225 years ago this week, and the building has undergone almost constant change and renovation since then. Here’s a timeline showing how the White House was built.

1791

George Washington gets fed up with his crappy D.C. condo

1814

British soldiers redecorate the White House considerably by setting it on fire

1890

First light bulb installed after Benjamin Harrison bangs his toe against his bed for the last fucking time

1902

The building is renovated to include the West Wing under President Theodore Roosevelt, who until then had been signing bills while sitting cross-legged on his bed

1909

President Taft has a slim-fitting bathtub installed

1951

President Eisenhower finally gets around to finishing the basement

1974

Immediately upon assuming office, President Gerald Ford fills in Nixon’s moat

1981

Ronald Reagan shows support for the free market economy by replacing rooftop solar panels with a rooftop hydraulic fracking rig

1994

Congress authorizes the installation of a Boyz II Men poster in Chelsea Clinton’s bedroom

2017

President Trump orders new televisions for the West Wing after staring at a painting of Abraham Lincoln in frustration for 20 minutes




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper