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A Guide To U.S. Coronavirus Travel Restrictions

As the coronavirus pandemic continues through the summer months, many states and cities around the U.S. have implemented restrictions on travelers. The Onion highlights some of the coronavirus travel restrictions around the country for anyone thinking of taking a trip.


Nevada: Visitors advised to quarantine at a slot machine booth in one of state’s many fine casinos.


New York: Two weeks of isolation except for DoorDash drivers crossing state lines.


South Dakota: A visitor? You will be the governor’s honored guest!


Arizona: Welcomes anyone who wants to just drive right into Grand Canyon.


Illinois: Visitors must self-quarantine for 14 days except for the girl who Jimmy Thompson is trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with. We’re all rooting for you, Jimmy!


Oregon: Visitors advised to wear masks or else have really good public meltdown for recording and sharing online. 


California: Visitors must agree to quarantine for 14 days if they’ve recently been in high-risk area such as California.


Florida: All is lost. Only the damned may enter.