Doctor Weirded Out By Patient She Just Met Providing Every Lurid Detail Of Medical History

PHILADELPHIA—Entering her examination room to find a woman describing in detail how she had once spent several hours coughing up blood, general practitioner Anika Korman described her state of mind as “completely weirded out” Monday when patient Catherine Moritz evidently decided to provide every lurid detail of her medical history. “I had barely walked through the door before she started describing how she contracted something she called ‘chicken skin’ when she was 9 years old. Jesus, lady, I’m practically a stranger,” said Korman of Moritz, who left nothing to the imagination in her graphic recounting of her every encounter with swimmer’s ear, UTIs, and yeast infections. “Totally and completely unprompted, she immediately disclosed her entire sexual history—right down to the names of her partners and the STIs she’s contracted. I’m like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey now, do I look like your best friend? You don’t just tell someone you had really bad diarrhea a couple weeks ago, or even that you had a nasty abscess in your ear in late 2012. I mean, do I know you? Slow down, lady, damn.” At press time, Korman was trying to exit the examination room as Moritz, having exhausted her own medical history, began recounting that of her 65-year-old mother.